


i could never take the world alone

by hopeless_hope



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man - All Media Types, Spider-Man: Homecoming (2017), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Anxiety Attacks, Dad!Tony, Father-Son Relationship, Goodbyes, Hurt/Comfort, Irondad, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Platonic Cuddling, Post-Graduation, Precious Peter Parker, Sort Of, Team as Family, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Whump, college is scary man, going off to college, im always making him cry, sorry peter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-11
Updated: 2018-10-11
Packaged: 2019-07-29 16:07:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16267664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/hopeless_hope/pseuds/hopeless_hope
Summary: “Hey, Peter?”The teenager freezes, thumb frozen over the End Call button. His mind is caught in the eye of a hurricane, and he’s afraid if he says anything more, he’ll be thrown into the turbulence, so he just waits for his mentor to speak again.“Try not to overthink things. It’s all going to be okay.”Tears rush to Peter’s eyes and he squeezes them shut. Don’t think about it.“Okay.”The storm picks up around him and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he’s swept away.(In which going away to college is, by far, one of the scariest things Peter's ever faced, but Tony's there to remind him that he's not alone.)





	i could never take the world alone

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from the song "Brother" by NEEDTOBREATHE
> 
> (Heads up: I haven't proofread this, so don't hate me for any typos. I'll try to go through later, but I'm tired and lazy.)

It’s the beginning of August, less than a week before Peter moves into MIT. It’s all anyone seems to be able to talk about and it’s the only thing he doesn’t _want_ to think about.

He spends most of his days out with May, getting last minute supplies, like laundry detergent and a power strip and a billion other small things that never occurred to him before.

Peter, Ned, and MJ get together for movie nights, lounging around on the couch and eating so many snacks, exchanging jokes and memes, and he’s honestly not sure how he’s so supposed to go away without them.

MJ has another two weeks before she leaves for Columbia University, and Peter’s confident she’ll do just fine. She’s grown out of the withdrawn, broody phase from freshman and sophomore year and become even more confident and outspoken, especially politically. Peter’s excited to see his best friend use her strong voice as she double majors in political science and journalism.

After a lot of back and forth debate, Ned decided to take a paid internship with Stark Industries, while taking a few online courses with MIT. It would give him much more hands-on and specialized training with coding and programming at a much more individualized pace. Tony had as good as offered him a permanent job, so long as he keeps up with his classes and impressive work.

Peter, on the other hand, had dreamed of going away to college for about as long as he could remember. Nothing about his life had ever been normal or textbook or white-fenced. But this? He’d always wanted the typical college experience – living in the dorms, eating Ramen Noodles for every other meal, etc.

But now that it’s here?

God, Peter is terrified. He’s so scared he can barely think straight half the time, so mostly he’s just been trying not to think at all.

He’s just finished packing the last of his books into a large bin when is phone rings. He groans when he sees the caller ID.

“Hi, Mr. Stark.”

“Well, that’s not a very enthusiastic greeting,” Tony huffs in response. “Besides, what’s this ‘Mr. Stark’ bullshit anyway? I thought we kicked that habit ages ago.”

Peter suppresses a sigh. “Sorry, Tony.”

“It’s fine, kid. I’m sure packing has probably scrambled your brain by now. If it wasn’t already scrambled from swinging off of buildings on the daily. Anywho, why don’t you come stay at the Compound for the weekend? You know, relax a little, spend some time in the lab. The usual.”

Peter sits on his bed, heart dropping to his shoes. He doesn’t want to do this. He doesn’t want to do _any_ of this.

“Oh, uh. I’m actually not finished packing yet,” Peter lies, looking nervously at his nearly empty room. “It’s been a bigger task than I anticipated.”

Tony just brushes it off. “Oh, come on, kid. Can’t be that bad. If you’re really worried, we could always get DUM-E to do it. He could use the exercise anyway.”

Peter can’t help the smile that tugs at his lips. Tony always did treat his robots like living things. “Yeah, you know, I’d really love to, but it’s just. It’s my last weekend here and I kind of just wanted to spend time with May, you know?”

God, he _hates_ the surge of panic that rushes through him at the verbal acknowledgement that it’s his last weekend home. Tony sighs on the other end of the line.

“Alright, kid, what gives? I already talked to May. She’s picking up extra hours this weekend, so she can have time off to help you move in. I’m sure you know that,” he says pointedly.

Peter’s glad Tony isn’t there to see the way his hands are wringing anxiously. He laughs half-heartedly. “Oh yeah! I completely forgot,” he lies. He lies and lies and lies. He wonders if maybe he packed the real Peter in one of the boxes strewn around his room 

“Uh huh,” Tony says suspiciously, but Peter is relieved when he lets it go. “Happy will be by to pick you up tomorrow afternoon.”

Peter swallows the lump rising in his throat. _I don’t want to go._ “Yeah, sounds good!”

He’s just about to hang up the phone when Tony’s voice sounds through the speaker one last time. “Hey, Peter?”

The teenager freezes, thumb frozen over the End Call button. His mind is caught in the eye of a hurricane, and he’s afraid if he says anything more, he’ll be thrown into the turbulence, so he just waits for his mentor to speak again.

“Try not to overthink things. It’s all going to be okay.”

Tears rush to Peter’s eyes and he squeezes them shut. _Don’t think about it._

“Okay.”

The storm picks up around him and he knows it’s only a matter of time before he’s swept away.

* * *

 

Tony’s not an idiot.

He knows something’s up with the kid. He’s been avoiding him for weeks, pulls an excuse out of his pocket every time Tony suggests he comes to the Compound. What he’s really like to know is _why_ Peter is giving him the cold shoulder.

Truth is, he’s a little hurt. But he’d never admit that out loud.

So when he calls May, he’s surprised at the sigh that graces her lips.

“I was wondering when you’d call,” is her greeting. Tony isn’t usually one to be caught off guard, but the Parkers always seemed to manage it.

“What.”

“You want to know why Peter’s not talking to you, right?” she says knowingly. Tony scratches the back of his head.

“Well, yeah. That’d be nice,” Tony says lamely. He’s completely out of his element here. Peter’s gone through moody phases before, but usually, rather than avoid his mentor, he goes _to_ him. So this is a completely new development.

May sighs again. That just seems to be the common sentiment.

“He hasn’t talked to me about it, but I have my guesses. Honestly, you should probably just talk to him yourself. I think he needs the extra push. I was actually going to ask if maybe you could take him for the weekend?”

Surprised that she’d even let her nephew out of her sight for the weekend before he goes away, Tony asks, “Why? I mean, of course, but…”

“Yeah, I know. But I’m picking up extra shifts so I can take off to help Peter move in, and I don’t want him to be alone. Plus, I think he could _really_ use the time with you,” she says pointedly. Tony chooses not to analyze that too much.

“Of course, May. I’ll have Happy pick him up tomorrow,” he reassures.

“Oh thank god,” she says, sounding relieved.

“Just Tony is fine,” he jokes.

“Well, thank you, Just Tony,” she says teasingly. He rolls his eyes. The Parkers are going to be the death of him, he’s sure.

So now, nearly twenty-four hours later, they’re deep in Tony’s lab, and the kid still won’t talk to him. Oh, he’ll spout ideas, sure, but if the topic gets anything close to personal, he completely shuts up.

If he calls Tony “Mr. Stark” one more time, he might have to scream.

The atmosphere continues to remain awkward and tense all the way up until dinner. Luckily, he’s got a building full of Avengers to help crack the ice.

“The Man of Spiders is leaving the nest! A worthy cause for a feast!” Thor booms, ruffling Peter’s hair, and everyone laughs at the startled expression on his face.

Peter takes in the sight before him. He should have expected this, but for some reason, he didn’t. Tony was always over the top.

Around the kitchen and living area are streamers and balloons, and overhead hangs a large banner reading, “PETER!” with little painted handprints all over it. He notes, with great amusement, that it’s hanging by arrows pierced through the top two corners, like giant tacks.

Steve and Bucky are lounging on the couch, while Sam tries to catch a stray balloon that’s making its break for the ceiling. Natasha is perched on the counter, swiping her finger through a bowl of cake batter, while Clint tries to smack her hand away. Pepper and Laura are putting the finishing touches on the large table, while Rhodey and Bruce sit in the chairs unhelpfully. Even Lila and Cooper are there, running around and weaving around all the people.

Pepper smiles at him warmly. “Hello, Peter. You didn’t think we’d let you leave without seeing us, did you?”

He flounders, completely at a loss for words. Peter looks at his mentor, who raises his hands.

“Hey, don’t look at me. They heard you were coming this weekend and wanted to do something for you.”

Clint slides a tray into the oven and walks over.

“Yeah, Pete! Also, you can thank Lila and Cooper for the banner. They’ve been working on letters and were so excited they could spell your name. We figured ‘Congratulations’ might be a bit too big a task for them.” Peter laughs, face finally lighting into an astonished smile. 

“You guys didn’t have to do this! You already threw me a huge graduation party!” he protests.

“Oh hush,” Natasha rolls her eyes. “We wanted to. You know, since _somebody_ hasn’t been around in weeks.”

Peter looks down guiltily. Even though Tony shares the sentiment, he still jumps to Peter’s defense.

“Ah, leave him alone. It’s a busy time, am I right, Pete?” he asks, clapping him on the shoulder. Peter nods and tosses him a grateful look.

From there, it’s just fun banter and kids squealing excitedly. They all sit at the huge table and absolutely fill themselves with food, and Peter hopes they don’t notice that he’s only picking at his. He knows it’ll just come back up later.

Throughout the evening, each of the Avengers manages to pull him aside and give him a small gift and some sort of pep talk about how great he’s going to do and how, if he ever needs them, they’ll be there. Thor even threatens to zap any professor or student who gives him a hard time.

By the end of the night, they’re all piled up on the couches watching John Mulaney, and Peter’s squished between Tony and Steve, with Natasha’s feet strew over the three of them. He looks around at everyone and wonders how the hell he got to this point, to a place where he could watch stand-up comedy with Earth’s mightiest heroes before he leaves for college.

God, he’s going to miss this. And it’s not like he’ll never be home to visit, but it won’t be the same. Peter _loves_ his routine. He loves being able to go on patrol and going to the Compound every other weekend and working in the lab with Tony and sometimes Bruce twice a week. He loves listening to Steve and Bucky tell stories and having them help him with his AP US History homework. He even loves having Natasha kick his ass during training.

_I don’t want to go._

A wave a bitterness and anxiety surges up within him, and he gags on it. Carefully shifting Natasha’s legs, he gets up and whispers, “Sorry, bathroom.” In his haste to get there, he doesn’t feel Tony’s gaze on his retreating form.

Peter barely makes it to the toilet before he’s on his knees, retching violently. This has been his nightly routine for the past month or so. Any time he thinks about leaving, which inevitably happens when he’s laying wide awake at night, he gets overcome with an anxiety that leaves him sick and gasping.

He’s familiar with anxiety, familiar with panic attacks, but this? This is something totally different. It leaves him exhausted and drained and so, so scared in a way he’s never been before.

It’s not healthy, not even close, but it’s become so nightly that’s he’s just come to accept it as part of his routine. He should have known he wouldn’t be spared tonight.

Peter’s not sure how long he spends on the tile, trying to get his body under control and swallow the sobs that try to escape, before he hears a soft knock on the door

“Hey, Pete? Is everything okay in there?”

Peter freezes at the sound of his mentor’s voice. “Y-yeah, everything’s fine!” He winces at the croak in his voice.

Tony rolls his eyes. “Very convincing.” There’s a pause and Peter thinks (hopes) that Tony will let it go, but of course he doesn’t because he’s Tony Stark. “I’m coming in.”

Peter curses as the door opens – thanks FRIDAY – and Tony takes in the sight of his protégé curled by the toilet, body sagging and eyes red.

“Oh, _kid._ ” Tony quietly shuffles in, closing the door behind him and sits against the wall across from Peter.

“It’s nothing,” Peter mutters halfheartedly. “Must have been something I ate.”

“Bullshit,” Tony says sharply. “You barely ate a thing during dinner.”

They sit in silence for a minute and Tony watches as the boy tries to collect himself.

“Peter. Wanna tell me what’s going on in that genius brain of your’s?” he prompts, after it becomes clear Peter’s not going to start talking by himself.

Peter shrugs. “It’s nothing,” he mumbles, waving his hand. “Just – it’s stupid.”

“It’s not stupid if it has you sick to your stomach,” Tony argues. Peter looks down, and Tony can practically hear the internal debate going on in the vigilante’s head.

“Peter,” he says gently. “It’s okay. It’s just me and you here. You can trust me with anything. You know that.”

That seems to do the trick, because not a second later, Peter’s face is crumpling and a heavy sob is pushing its way past his lips.

“ _Tony,_ ” he cries, and Tony’s at his side in a heartbeat, pulling him close and shushing him gently. Peter latches onto him and even though he’s technically an adult now, he feels more like a child than ever.

“Tony,” he whines again, high-pitched and desperate. “I’m so – I’m so _scared._ I don’t want to leave you, I don’t want to leave May, _I don’t want to go_.”

Tony’s heart breaks.

“I don’t – I thought that if I didn’t think about it, that if I spent more time away –“ the _from you_ is unspoken, but Tony hears it anyway, “then it wouldn’t – it wouldn’t hurt so much. But, oh god, I’m so scared and I can’t stop being scared, which is stupid because literally everyone else is doing this just fine, but I’m over here being a stupid _child_ about this and – “

“Peter, _no,_ stop,” Tony cuts him off. “Hey, listen, I promise you are not the only one out there who’s scared about leaving. It’s perfectly normal. Hell, I’m scared, and I’m not even the one leaving.”

Peter looks at him in surprise. “Why?”

Tony lets out a huff. “You think I’m excited to see you go? It’s just the opposite, kid. Am I excited to see you grow and become even more independent than you already are? Of course. But who am I supposed to work in the lab with on Saturday nights now? Who else is going to give me more grey hairs and heart attacks every week?”

When he’s done, Peter is staring up at him with wide eyes, looking on the verge of tears again, and places a hand on his cheek.

“Peter, I know it’s scary, and yeah, a lot is going to change now,” Tony says matter-of-factly. “But let me tell you what’s not going to change: May, Ned, MJ, the Avengers? We’re all still going to have your back. You’re going to come home, and we’ll still have movie nights and drive Pepper crazy from drinking too much coffee and not sleeping enough. You’ll still be able to text Happy as much as you want and call me anytime.”

He sighs, looking Peter straight in the eye.

“I know your world is suddenly getting so much bigger, but you don’t have to take it on alone. In fact, we simply won’t let you. There’s no getting rid of us,” Tony informs, squeezing the kid tightly.

“Thank you, Tony,” Peter whispers, clinging onto him. “I love you,” he adds in a rush, as though afraid he might get scolded for it. Tony melts completely, feeling more raw than ever.

“I love you too, kid,” he says fiercely, leaving no room for doubt. They stay like that for another moment, giving Peter a chance to collect himself, before Tony slowly stands, taking Peter with him.

“Alright, now I need to go grab my bottle of TUMS because all that emotion gave me heartburn,” he jokes, rubbing at his chest.

Peter laughs. “You’ll live. Besides, you should save them for when I call you at two in the morning, drunk off my ass at a college party,” Peter says cheekily, before running back to the living room.

Tony stares after him incredulously, shaking his head. “Peter Parker! Goodness gracious, you need a babysitter. I’m buying you a babysitter. That’s your going away gift.”

Inwardly though, Tony’s smiling. They’re going to be just fine.

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, I've written more in the past month than I have in years. I'm procrastinating schoolwork, so that's probably why. I started this almost immediately after posting my other angsty one-shot last night. Luckily, my fall break got extended due to the hurricane.
> 
> This was based almost entirely off my own experience. I moved into college like two months ago, but the whole month before that, I was so scared and anxious that I was making myself physically sick. Anxiety is ridiculous and brains are dumb. It's really not so bad. Actually, the academics and work load are awful, but living away from home is great.
> 
> If anyone has any story ideas/prompts, feel free to leave them down below. I can't promise I'll write them, but now that I'm writing again, I'd like to keep it going. As always, please leave your thoughts and opinions, or even just a kudos! Your feedback is so special to me and very much appreciated.


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